Friday 6 February 2015

Review: After by Anna Todd

After by Anna Todd

Publisher: Gallery Books
Publication Date: October 21st, 2014
Pages: 592
Series: After #1
Source: Publisher **I received this book for free from the publisher in exchange for a honest review**
Rating: 1/5
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Tessa is a good girl with a sweet, reliable boyfriend back home. She’s got direction, ambition, and a mother who’s intent on keeping her that way.

But she’s barely moved into her freshman dorm when she runs into Hardin. With his tousled brown hair, cocky British accent, tattoos, and lip ring, Hardin is cute and different from what she’s used to.

But he’s also rude—to the point of cruelty, even. For all his attitude, Tessa should hate Hardin. And she does—until she finds herself alone with him in his room. Something about his dark mood grabs her, and when they kiss it ignites within her a passion she’s never known before.

He’ll call her beautiful, then insist he isn't the one for her and disappear again and again. Despite the reckless way he treats her, Tessa is compelled to dig deeper and find the real Hardin beneath all his lies. He pushes her away again and again, yet every time she pushes back, he only pulls her in deeper.

Tessa already has the perfect boyfriend. So why is she trying so hard to overcome her own hurt pride and Hardin’s prejudice about nice girls like her?

Unless…could this be love?

Now newly revised and expanded, Anna Todd’s After fanfiction racked up 1 billion reads online and captivated readers across the globe. Experience the Internet’s most talked-about book for yourself!

There was the time before Tessa met Hardin, and then there’s everything AFTER ... Life will never be the same. #Hessa

Soooo.....this happened. Honestly when I accepted this book for review I did the bad blogger thing and said sure based solely on the buzz. I had no idea what After was about, besides being a romance. Well turns out it's One Direction fanfic. Yup. But I said I'd review, so I embarked on this epic reading journey of so much fail. It's not even that this is 1D fanfic(I mean that is pretty hilarious), it's the fact that the story is terrible. There is absolutely no redeeming qualities. Besides the juvenile writing, which lets face it, provided a lot of LOLZ. This is a book that romanticizes abuse and horrible behavior. 

Hardin(yes, totally original change of name), is a broken individual. But does not give him the right to emotionally and mentally abuse people. He needs help. Hardin is extremely quick to fly off the handle. His mood switches in a blink of an eye. He is a terrible human being. But the characters don't seem to think there's anything wrong with that. It's just Hardin. No, it's not. In real life he would be in jail, so what makes it alright to swoon over this type of person just because he's not real? Mental and emotional abuse leave just as big of scars as physical. Just because they're not visual does not lessen the damage to someone's psyche. 

Tessa(yes, it's also a Taylor/Harry fanfic, I'm disgusted with myself also), is also an asshole. Todd really tries to paint Tessa as this innocent nice girl. She has an overbearing mother. A perfect high school boyfriend. Obviously, Tessa doesn't realize how beautiful she is. The list of cliches could just go on and on. But the point is she is a far from the nice perfect girl that we're supposed to believe she is. She's definitely naive and spends a good portion of the book being a judgmental douchebag. For some reason people seem inclined to help her and be friendly to her. I don't get it. On top of being an absolute moron, Tessa spends 90% of the book screaming, screeching or crying. Talk about needing help... Or the fact that she seems to feel that she's immune to repercussions of cheating. I also can not get behind a book that makes cheating seem a-okay just because they other person has absolutely no idea what's going on behind their back. 

Hardin and Tessa's relationship is toxic. It's not cute or hot. It's cringe worthy. They spend the whole time fighting and being jealous. We don't get Hardin's POV, but Tessa second guesses absolutely everything Hardin does and says. They are hot and cold on every fucking page. Not to mention that Hardin is a dick to her constantly yet Tessa sees no problem continually forgiving him because he says I love you. 

For the sake of sending myself in circles, I will just provide you with my Goodreads updates. They lay out my feelings pretty solidly. 

01/31page 11
1.0%"Oh look, an impatient, indifferent tattooed love interest. Never come across one of those before."
01/31page 38
6.0%"She can't believe her boyfriend is being so judgmental Yet she's spent the first 37 pages judging everyone based on their appearance. This book is ridiculous!"
01/31page 79
13.0%"Seriously? That happened.
1. How did her mom get into the dorm? Is there no security? Guard? lock? Keys? So that means the local creeper can just walk in.
2. Did her mom just seriously show up at her dorm because her boyfriend told on her for going to a party? This really happened.
I can't even with this book."
01/31page 91
15.0%"Oh the foreshadow; you could learn a lot from him, sexually. But just don't develop feelings for him. He doesn't date.
I've never read this book before. :/"
01/31page 92
15.0%"And now we're actively comparing a work of fanfiction(this book) to Pride & Prejudice. Todd's actually wrote this into her book. For the love of, God..."
01/31page 100
16.0%"God no! He just tricked you into being friends with him. Being seen with someone decked out in ink and piercings is definitely a one way ticket to hell."
01/31page 107
18.0%"What is his obsession about people touching his possessions? Is he 5?"
01/31page 120
20.0%"1. She's always whining, screaming, screeching or crying. I'd give her a good throat punch.

2. Hardin, "I can't believe no one has fucked you before." NO! Just no! There is so much wrong with that sentence. As much as I don't like Tessa, she's still a women who decides when and who she has sex with. Not the other way around."
01/31page 122
20.0%"Is cheating not a word in this world?"
01/31page 123
20.0%"Speaking of; "I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I would have to break up with Noah the moment I kissed Hardin that first time. I can't date him if I've already betrayed him. It would always hang over my head like a dark cloud of guilt..."
*scratches head* YOU THINK! Should never have kissed him a 2nd time before breaking it off with Noah."
01/31page 125
21.0%"It's nice that Noah is always a second thought. Hardin hates me now but no worries I still have Noah, he loves me and doesn't know I've screwed around behind his back. Score!"
01/31page 127
21.0%"She's seriously surprised about all the parties that happen at a frat house? Does she realize she's 18 and at college? Kids away from home and their parents. Shocker there's partying. All. The. Time.
This girl is a moron." 2 comments
01/31page 138
23.0%"Hardin is out of control drunk. Drunk enough that he's a danger to people. So who does Landon call? Tessa of course. Not the police. Not even a good friend of Hardin's. A silly little girl. Makes total sense."
01/31page 148
25.0%":O She actually said something logical.
But than it had to be ruined with this cheesy line. "You...you make me want to be good, for you...I want to be good for you, Tess."

Well not completely because I still like to mentally and emotionally abuse you. But I'm half-way there, so it totally counts. *punches all the things*"
01/31page 153
25.0%"This is a train wreck I can't stop reading. Everything about it is terrible. I hate myself right now." 2 comments
01/31page 160
27.0%""Who is this girl straddling this punk boy asking to touch him...down there?"
1. Enough with the labels already!
2. Who is this girl touching a boy that is still not her boyfriend?
3. You're 18. You're allowed to say penis. I'll actually be shocked if she knows what is "down there"."
01/31page 173
29.0%"Your phone being "dead" all the time is the lamest excuse. Ever."
01/31page 179
30.0%"She's so annoyingly indecisive. You were just saying how you weren't meant to be with Noah. But as soon as the shit hits the fan all the sudden you can't lose him."
01/31page 181
30.0%"Oh suddenly there's campus security. Where were they when a strange women came barging through the dorm?"
01/31page 193
32.0%"Oh and here comes the slut shaming. Fantastic."
01/31page 203
34.0%"Taking out the dragging Noah along nonsense All the back and forth with Hardin is giving me whiplash."
02/01page 209
35.0%"I really need to start counting the amount of times she admires Hardin's ink through his see- through white t-shirts. Or maybe Hardin needs to buy some black shirts to keep the creepers from creeping."
02/01page 216
36.0%"Molly is quite annoying, but she's easy, so I keep her around. I see you're continuing to keep it classy, Hardin."
02/01page 219
36.0%"The fact that you keep reasoning why hurting and lying to Noah is a good thing makes you a bigger asshole than Hardin, Tessa."
02/01page 220
37.0%"Oh honey, if you think him saying your ass looks good in your tight jeans is dirty talk. Than I'm sure having sex with him will scar your ears."
02/01page 231
39.0%"Chapter 45 has been brought to you by the letters F and R. For fucking ridiculous."
02/01page 236
39.0%"Ahahahahaha! It seems Hardin's "secret" is revealed. Hahahaha! Oh man, shit is going to get even more funny."
02/01page 242
40.0%"Ohhhh. So it's called over thinking when you screw around with one guy well you're in a serious relationship with someone else. I thought it was called cheating. My mistake. Carry on."
02/01page 245
41.0%"I didn't know hand holding was code for I want you more than anything in the world. Do you know how much more rocks and goodies I could have got out of my grade 1 boyfriend if I'd known? It would had been like finding Atlantis."
02/01page 271
45.0%"These two really deserve each other. I mean how often in life will you find another human being just as awful and terrible as you are?"
02/01page 278
46.0%"He's laughing at her, an 18 year old, because she has so little experience Is it just me, but being 18 and inexperienced should be pretty normal."
02/01page 288
48.0%"Do you know what happens after a guy tells you he doesn't like to be told no? You dump his ass before he gets the urge to hit you. This is just getting worse and worse."
02/02page 310
52.0%"Shit, I just have no more words for this crap."
02/02page 312
52.0%""I hate the way I feel dependent on him, especially when I obviously can't depend on him."
What? Your brain does work occasionally. #shocker" 4 comments
02/02page 328
55.0%"AHAHAHAHAHA! Funniest bit of the book yet. I love a good comedy."
02/02page 344
58.0%"And now we're metaphorically linking this shit with Wuthering Heights... *facepalm*"
02/02page 351
59.0%""...I know I am back and forth a lot with you, and I don't know why I do it. But if you give me one chance, one more chance, I will stop. I tried to stay away from you but I can't. I need you..."
And there you have it folks, that is this compelling 600 page story."
02/02page 366
61.0%""And you can't just ask someone if they love you when they are trapped in a car with you-..."
I happen to think that's the perfect time. They either decide they love you back or would rather jump out of a moving vehicle than say it back."
02/02page 394
66.0%"The maturity in this book continues to amaze me."
02/02page 400
67.0%"When he treats you differently in front of his friends than when you are alone, you dump his ass.
When he tells you you're his distraction that stops him from hitting people or destroying things, you dump his ass. B/c I guarantee that soon enough being a distraction will not be enough."
02/02page 411
69.0%"I take back my earlier statement. Chapter 74 is the funniest thing ever."
02/02page 417
70.0%"Well that was totally realistic..." 4 comments
02/02page 428
72.0%"Saying I love you after every dick move you make is not a get out of jail free card.
He just called me a controlling bitch but also said I love you. I totally swooned. - Someone certainly has their priorities straight."
02/02page 433
73.0%"Lame."
02/02page 489
82.0%"How is this book still going? How is there still 100 pages left? *bangs head on wall*"
02/03page 496
83.0%"Why is everyone so automatically caring and thoughtful to Tessa? She's horrid and selfish. What am I missing here?"
02/03page 496
83.0%"I came to a terrible realization this morning. I'm not just reading 1D fanfic, I'm reading Harry & Taylor fanfic. Someone, please, send help." 4 comments
02/03page 502
84.0%""...Your mom wants you with him too-I won't let him try to take what is mine!"
Um. Nope. Your inner caveman is showing, Hardin."
02/03page 526
88.0%"Nightmare explanation=underwhelmingly lame.
Does this make me a bad person? Who the fuck cares. I'm reading 1D fanfic."
02/03page 532
89.0%"I'm pretty sure her mom is Ursula reincarnated.

(yes, I just likened her to an evil sea witch, I am on fire tonight)"
02/03page 538
90.0%"I can totally tell where Tessa got her sparkling personality from..."
02/03page 538
90.0%"Whenever I hear the endearing term, baby(catch the sarcasm there?) being used my mind automatically breaks into a very powerful rendition of, "baby, baby, baby oh."
Grow the hell up, brain."
02/03page 541
91.0%""Feel good?"
Well she's panting like a dog, so I'd probably get her some water. The poor girls thirsty." 2 comments
02/03page 566
95.0%"I am so dizzy."
02/03page 568
95.0%"What happens when Tessa walks into a bar? The same thing that happened the last 5 times.
I'm not drunk enough for this."
02/03page 575
97.0%"Seriously? Seriously? 600 pages and this is the "twist".
I should have just watched She's All That."
02/03page 582
98.0%"Done. What's my prize? It better be a damn big plate of cookies."

I'm still waiting on my plate of cookies.
I will admit to actually enjoying myself. And that's only because I had a lot of fun doing a running commentary. After is probably the worst book I've read, yet I might have had the most fun reading it. *scratches head* What can you do but laugh at something like this? I may have lost a lot of brain cells, but it seems my humor is still kicking around. You can't have it all.
I will admit to having the most frightening thought when I finished. A thought that has no place in my brain. Especially after the self inflicted torture I just put myself through. But I wondered if my library had the rest of the series available. I was totally sober.
Never say never(Ohmygod, what is with me and the Biebs...). Maybe you guys have a drunken reading to look forward to. Or if someone could please come and hit me upside the head that would be preferable.

Happy reading!

Brittany

2 comments:

  1. What annoys me so much, even if I haven't read it, is the 'cocky british accent' this screams typical to me. The bad boy/good girl story line has been overused for ages and it just gets a bit boring! It also said in the synopsis it was a fanfiction but developed and we all know you end up with cringeworthy read like 50 shades of grey when they take advantage of different fanbase (e.g. One Direction & Twighlight). I honestly think I would give this one a pass, brilliant review!!
    Naomi @The Perks Of Being A Bookworm

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  2. hahahahaa!!! YOUR UPDATES ON THIS ARE FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!! OMG.... YES!!! ='D

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